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triggered

well last night people sorta claimed they saw the dead coming back to life underground when it was a new population hiding underground and that sorta triggered an emotion. wishing dexter was back, wishing the scientist was back, even wishing grandpa was back with us. i wrote alot of shite to the doctor and i kinda regretted it. =–According to grandpa’s instructions to reveal stuff about what species of human i was. And that i turned into animals. I dont’ know if he’s schizoprenic about it, but undoubtedly its true, but who would insanely believe my story. So i wrote it was a dream.

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lonestar

i kinda miss talking to my friends, online. their all dead now, and i find that doubtful i can write to anyone who’ll understand how i feel. its the scientfic age where regretably all my grandparents who were creatures but loved me were locked up in one spot and left to die. im sad my family is dying but excited about living alone and trying a new life working from home office. its gonna be a trial, im excited but feeling eccentric and wanna just feel safe and live off my basic allowance and do nothing about it sometimes, but i know working is for the best.

grandpa’s leaving

they’ve finally shot them all dead and he’s not returning tmr. :{ whos’ gonna watch over my shoulder. i felt bad for leaving him for awhile to go to another neighborhood to get my quessidella. i feel alittle destitute, dad’s been shouting alot. their insisting i get my teeth checked at the polyclinic dentist. for an extraction, then i’d really not be able to eat.

grandpa’s really good for company after a long day he’s right there for me.

starvexed lovers and blank space

Stuff’d outlet  at nex mall only opens at 10.30am, im starving for a chicken quesidella. i feel like emptying my shelf full of books typing them online, especially the law ones, but that may not help me understand how to be a better paralegal. i don’t know im confused. im tired of being confined, but saying bye bye eternally to uncle dexter who’s gonna be shot tmr is hard. ive been confined at home for a year now, not going out because people felt unsafe. listening to taylor swifts love songs, makes me feel vexed about  my love life. i wonder if someone had already dragged him away before i noticed he was gone or he was back and replaced, i geniunely feel troubled about my love life. people (who are definitely gonna end up raped) tell me to not take him seriously, and see other guys.

People say guys with money are a better deal. but im so vexed when they say that. how do you know when you’re getting together with a person forever and ur willing to wait billions of years to see him again. or 50 lifetimes. there’s so many questions i want to ask him like i’d like to get an answer now.

medical dream come true

well sometime ago in 2011 i came to be in existence again in the world, we had just returned from the war fleet guarding spaces across the moon. i was given a foster home and a foster name and didnt dare tell the doctor i was seeing for our depot injection where i came from or that i was american russian. And after experiencing life at the hospital i was very keen on working in the hospital as one of them, i have an education qualification in medicine and law and engineering. i didnt know how to approach the doctor to tell him to check my records as the army didnt send them my records and died.

so i recently decided to talk to the doctors at imh about it via email and i had to prove as im an immortal i first became invited to work at the hospital in 1910 that seemed very hard an idea to impose but i tried it. and the doctors found my records in cambridge and oxford. and im gonna be taught to be a doctor again! this time im gonna specialize as a psychiatrist/ in a 1000 years time. its definitely not a long wait for me as ten years have already gone by living here. i’ll be starting work on my law firm here first in hundred years. my family sadly might not grow old enough to see that happen and i am to live alone just down the street. i feel this is really truly a blessing. life seemed so difficult 10 years ago dealing with enemies and my parents always encouraging me to attend occupational therapy at the hospital as if i were an invalid. But i was praying and wishing at the fountain that god would end this war and i’d get to live alone and be a doctor and lawyer. i think prayer works. and talking to people about what u wish for. it was very touching that my original doctor faced a difficult situation like us too at the beginning.

when i knew nothing about what was happening in singapore and the situation people were in, i just ducked over and helped pull people out of trouble and protect young kids. now im happy i didnt even expect to use a computer ever again but a fortunate pass from my friend and uncle led me to have a new phone and computer cause i did them favours. always helping a failing friend always helps and is a courtesy i realized. i also realized i’ll miss my family, my dad works hard to make furniture fit in my room and helped me laminate my table with a pink paper so i could be comfortable using the computer. my mom cracks jokes to keep me occupied and grandpa dexter is always there to lend a helping hand.

i think with a willing heart to serve and earning a good soul god will hear our prayers and cries at night and fulfill our every wish. thank you for listening and may god bless you.

Hi

i just realised we are gonna be linked to A famous s blog going on trial  and this blog is already defunct. For a couple years. Great gods of Giza. I’m like back in time to see what I was like. Hope to write on a blog soon

hi

im up, ive been very constructive lately, i was just downloading songs from cascada and the veronicas, i was thinking how fine it sounded like songs i wrote before, and when i got into deciphering the music, this dawned on me: There was once a man, who didn’t know what he could do, he thought he was a great man and being erased with time, but until he reacted to it, and wrote songs, did things to prevent being gone, was he great. Because he’s somebody else he didn’t want to be. “created” and “done it”, he became a creator. faded disappear in the dark, slipping away as i disappear in the dark. Now whenever someone’s lights went out he was there to write a song. they even told him how he should wear his hair, or change his hair.he didn’t have concernts now but he was real artist playing in the minds of others nobody knew who he was but he dsiappeared in the dark, ‘im so far away from where i was at the start’. they tried to erase him till he wasn’t there, he had problems, but now his problems were gone and he was doing more in fact, in stead of just thinking of himself, he became the voice behind the world, representing its thoughts and things. he is popular man, but his path became narrow and he’s alone. and tired and saw alot of work to talk to people, but he was potentially facing problems around the world that wasn’t his side when he grew up, he became a shape for people to think. when they were lost, he was searching for his core.

 

*another thing i think i shouldnt bullshite to my foster parents about is that i can’t be a lawyer, cause im a doctor. and i should sit for med school exams again after high school exams.

*i should go to the navy cause thats where i can sail in the ocean and write music.

i see this doctor, so into the future and music, he brings it back to a civilization that has nothing, and he parties with his patients, and makes people up he shares a vision of a new year parties and goodwill. he may not be like them, but he sure would contribute, the whole hollywood is just his following. he’s the voice. its just like an angel had put music down on earth for everyone to listen to. in the city of angels. los angeles. a mind has to be accompanied by a person and a personality for it to be real.

 

*purchase latest beats and synth sounds and keyboards.

* a part of this peronsality is what you allowed and built in myself to accomodate to their demands, that i fall in line with e’s character, that is why it isn’t real, the younger lost one.